Wishful Thinking
by Happyteehee
Summary: Lavi with some wishful thinking about his future in the Black Order.


**I really shouldn't be writing any other FF's, but I couldn't help it! Especially not after looking at pictures of Lavi on tumblr... _ _**  
**My inspiration was from a song, it mentioned down there (just so you know). **  
**Anyway, enjoy!**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own -man, the song mentioned or any of the characters (sadly). **

* * *

It was cold in the Black Order; the ovens had stopped working because of an experiment done by the Chief Officer, Komui Lee, had somehow ruined the

heaters in the Black Order. As always his experiments came with sacrifices. Never deadly, though. The redhead closed his unpatched emerald green eye tight

and sneezed loudly. He shivered as he used a white handkerchief to wipe the snot from his nose. He really disliked the Chief's experiments, they would always

end badly. Okay, maybe one or two experiments had been good, but the rest was just wrong. Lavi, our redheaded friend, wondered if Komui Lee sometimes

did it on purpose, like a revenge of some sort. Maybe someone had flirted with his beautiful sister, Lenalee Lee, and he had noticed. Komui kept a close eye on

his sister at all times and kept records of her conversations with other members of the Black Order, so it was likely. Like his sister complex could get any worse.

Lavi's train of thought was interrupted by the white haired boy (and his comrade), Allen Walker. Apparently Jerry the Chef had bought new ingredients and

cooked up some new recipes that Allen wanted to try and taste. "_He really does love food…Yikes."_Lavi thought as the boy told him about the kinds of food he

would like to eat – which was basically everything.

"Come on, Lavi! What if there won't be any food left?" Allen said with tears in his eyes. Lavi put on one of his best smiles and chuckled, "Relax, Allen, I'm sure

Jerry have everything he needs to make you the food you want. It's Jerry after all!" The white haired boy didn't seem to react to what Lavi had just said, he

kept sobbing until Lavi started to drag him to the cafeteria. Allen gobbled down every bit of food on one of his hundred plates; Lavi could only stare in

fascination at the younger boy. "Uhm, Allen? Why don't you slow down a bit, the food's not going run away from you?" He said and ate his own dinner Jerry

had prepared for him. "_Well, it wouldn't be so weird if the food actually ran away from him. He's like a monster or something._" He thought as he ate his spaghetti

with meatballs. Lenalee sat down at their table along with Arystar Krory and Miranda Lotto. They were talking, but Lavi couldn't focus on their conversation, he

was thinking about something Bookman, his teacher and old man*, had told him the night prior. It was the same thing he got scolded for too often; his

emotions and bonds. He couldn't help it, he was human, not an evil and ruthless Akuma. However, Bookmen wasn't supposed to 'feel' and have these 'bonds',

but Lavi wasn't sure if he could break the bonds he had made during the time he had spent in the Order. The exorcists, the finders, the scientists – everyone.

When he still was called Deak, he didn't have these problems. Then it was only him and the old panda, no one else. He couldn't really remember how it felt back

then, it wasn't a lot he had forgotten, but if there were any – it was the old times. Lenalee squeezed his shoulder and asked in a low voice; "Is everything

alright, Lavi?" Lenalee's purple worried eyes looked into his emerald green one, he did understand why Komui kept such a close eye on her; she was a beauty.

"Yeah, of course. I was just thinking about where Yuu was." A lie. He knew exactly were Kanda Yuu (preferred to be called Kanda, but Lavi liked to tease him)

were. Kanda was either meditating or working on his swordsman skills, even though he didn't need to. He was already extremely talented. "You're right; I

wonder if he's alright…?" Lenalee said. Lavi regretted saying it immediately as he saw the worried look on Lenalee's face. "BaKanda? He's probably doing his

precious hair." Allen said with food in his mouth, he scowled – not at anyone in particular. Krory and Lenalee laughed, and somehow Miranda managed to spill

Lenalee's hot cup of tea. Unfortunately Lavi sat next to Lenalee and the hot beverage found its way to his lap. Needless to say he had to excuse

himself to his quarter so he could change. It hurt as he walked the halls. Still, he couldn't help but to feel sorry for Miranda, she was so sweet and nice while

being extremely clumsy, as well. It didn't help that she had immediately offered herself to jump out of the window; luckily Allen and Krory had gotten a hold of

her before she had reached the window.

* * *

While changing Lavi found a note lying on his bed. It was from Bookman. He sat down on the bed filled with papers and books, wearing only a pair of red

boxers. The note said;

_**I have business with an old acquaintance of mine, I'll be back tomorrow. Don't forget what we talked about. You must not forget who you - who we are. Also, spend more time with Allen Walker, if what I've been hearing about the boy is true you would be smart to keep an eye on him, Lavi.**_  
_**- Bookman.**_  
_**PS: Don't do anything stupid, idiot.**_

Lavi crumbled the piece of paper in his hand, muttering with clenched teeth; "Damn that old panda…!" He drew his fingers threw his flaming red hair, sighing he

closed his one eye and lied down on the bed. He kicked the papers and the books off the bed to make room for his feet and folded his arms behind his head.

Today was one of those days he wanted to quit being Bookman's successor. He was lonely, lonely and bored, yet he didn't want any company. Not even

Kanda's. When sleep didn't work out he turned on the radio that stood on his nightstand. It was a slow song, quite nice, too and hopefully it would give

him some nice dreams. Preferably about some hot chicks with big br-, well it didn't matter, really, as long as they were nice and calming.

_Last night I dreamt I'd forgotten my name  
'Cause I sold my soul  
But I woke just the same  
I'm so lonely, I wish I was the moon tonight~*_

This night turned out to be just like the past nights, he didn't fall asleep. Instead he kept worrying about the day he would have to leave everyone he loved

and cared about. Lavi knew it was just wishful thinking, but still – he hoped he would spend a couple more years in the Black Order. A man can hope, can't he?

* * *

**1* - Old man: I'd like to think of Bookman as Lavi's grandpa (even if he's not by blood, they do have a strong bond)**  
**2*- Song: I Wish I Was the Moon - Neko Case**

**Thank you for your time, I hope you enjoyed this little fic!**  
**Also, if there's any mispells - be nice and tell me, please! :D**

-Teehee~


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